An Early Look - Mayhem Festival '09

As the Summer Concert Season gears up in NEPA, many await with eager anticipation for news on whether their favorite bands and/or shows will be returning. We have already had numerous confirmations on shows coming to or near our beloved hole in the Appalachians, but some have yet to be announced, while still others remain stagnant in a limbo-like state. While it may yet be too early to mention it, I am personally jacked for a particular show to return to NEPA: The ROCKSTAR Engery Drink Mayhem Festival!

Mayhem Fest '08 brought sickness and carnage to the Toyota Pavilion at Montage Mountain in grand fashion last summer with headliners Slipknot and Disturbed. Of course, who can forget Five Finger Death Punch, Dragonforce, Walls of Jericho, and the many other bands on the Jagermeister Stage? In short, the show kicked ass. Is it too much to assume that there are a multitude of others who are as excited as I am for this show's return?

My impulses only increased when I recieved confirmation for this year's Mayhem Fest headliners. Needless to say, the heavy metal gods have smiled upon us this year by granting us Marilyn Manson and Slayer as the lead acts! Co-headlining are Bullet for my Vallentine, while Killswitch Engage is rumored to be co-headlining as well. Other bands in attendance include Cannibal Corpse, Trivium, All That Remains, Behemoth, God Forbid, The Black Daliah Murder, and a copius number of other Jagermeister bands.

Unlike last year where we had Disturbed providing a sort-of "middle-ground" for the average rock fan, this year is all about thrash. Certainly, this year will include more violence and agression, but we can at least be guaranteed that it will keep the posers out of the show.

Granted, no tour dates have been confirmed as of yet, at least not here in NEPA. However, TicketsNow.com and the MySpace Page for Mayhem Festival have listed the Toyota Pavilion as a stop for Mayhem Fest '09. The current, tentative date for the show is July 29th, but time will tell for sure. In the meantime, get to practicing your mosh-pit endurance...you are going to need it!

Crisco's Rock Manual: Chapter 2 - Knowing Your Radio Station

Welcome back. I hope that you found the previous installment useful. Today we move on to Chapter 2, which delves into what you should know about your radio station.


First of all, GOOD Rock Radio stations are few and far between. With this knowledge, it would be wise for a true rocker to not screw up simple, elementary facts regarding the very station that plays music that you claim is your favorite type. These truths are especially relevant to any person who has made the claim that they listen to a station "all the time." Before you blurt this out in the future, make sure you have your s**t together so you can avoid rambling onward into incoherency.

Now, for the sake of this blog, I will hereby be using our very own 97.9X as the primary example for establishing my point. Keep in mind, though, that the following applies to any rock radio station.

1) Know the NAME of your Rock Radio station

Too often, I hear listeners refer to our radio station as being named "97.9X Rocks."

Wrong!

Take a close look at the station logo at the top of the blog. THAT is our station's name. It is pronounced "Ninety-Seven Nine X". Period. Nothing more, nothing less.

Another thing you should figure out is how to disassociate the station's name from the station's slogan."97.9X Rocks" is our station's slogan. It implies that the radio station (97.9X) takes part in the act of rocking. We do rock at 97.9X, so it is safe to say that 97.9X rocks.

Name = "97.9X"
Slogan = "97.9X Rocks!"

Let me reiterate... the name of our station is NOT "97.9X Rocks". The name of our station IS "97.9X".

The following are a breakdown of correct and incorrect grammar using the station's name:

"I won tickets from 97.9X!" - GOOD
"I won tickets today! 97.9X Rocks!" - GOOD
"I won tickets from 97.9X Rocks!" - BAD

"Crisco is a weekend DJ on 97.9X." - GOOD
"97.9X Rocks on the weekend with Crisco." - GOOD
"Crisco is a weekend DJ on 97.9X Rocks." - BAD

"Today, we saw a Top Secret Show in the 97.9X Rock Lounge." - GOOD
"Today, we saw a Top Secret Show in the Rock Lounge. 97.9X Rocks!" - GOOD
"Today, we saw a Top Secret Show in the 97.9X Rocks Rock Lounge." - BAD

"97.9X Rocks!" - GOOD
"97.9X Rocks Rocks!" - JUST PLAIN STUPID

It should also be noted that WBSX is the call-sign for 97.9X. While it is acceptable to refer to our radio station as WBSX, you may come off sounding like an uptight tool.

2) Know the Music of your Rock Radio station

We are a Rock Station. We play Rock Music. Repeat that a few times in your head.

DO NOT call your Rock Station and request garbage like Pink, Rihanna, Usher, T.I., or Miley Cyrus. We will not play it and you will be ridiculed as being a loser, not to mention a moron.

I really am confused as to how this happens. Is it because you dial the wrong number? Seriously, how can you call yourself a true listener if you don't even know what your station's phone number is? You really should try to discover fire before you attempt to fiddle with telephone communication, you simpleton.

3) Know your Rock DJs

While struggling to maintain consciousness, put forth an effort to listen for the name of the DJ on-the-air.

Calling a DJ by another name or not knowing who he/she is at all can really hurt our feelings. We are people too, you know.

4) Involve yourself

Attend station events, take part in station activities, and show your support. Don't just sit there with your mouth open like a mutilated cow and expect us to go out of our way to accommodate you with periodic doses of kickassedness. It doesn't work that way.

In actuality, we are here for you. Just don't be a douche about it. Show some love.

Be awesome for your station, and they will be awesome for you.


That is all for now. I'll probably add more as I remember to.

Until next time...KEEP ROCKIN'!

Tantric's "Mind Control"

Recently, I posted a blog regardning new rock from Tantric. Turns out I was RIGHT! We can definitely expect new rock from the band. Also, Tantric has posted even more info on the album in yet another MySpace bulletin:

Hello everyone, just wanted to say that we have decided to call the new record Mind Control. All is well in the studio and i cant wait to share this record with you guys.
God Bless you all
hugo

As always, you can count on me to keep you in the loop. Once again, you heard it FIRST from 97.9X!

RESCHEDULED!

Blah blah blah...yadda yadda yadda...

You know the drill. Just get your ass there!

POSTPONED!

Well, if you haven't heard by now, the big game has been postponed. I guess I should be thanking the Mid-Valley Girls B-Ball team for saving the 97.9X Staff a lot of embarrassment by going to the State Finals on the same night.

I should also be thankful that THEY aren't the ones that we have to play since I would never be able to walk outside again after a beatdown of that magnitude.

Anyway, keep your ear turned to the speakers for updates on when the game will be rescheduled, and pray that it happens before the weather gets warm. After all, the last thing NEPA needs is to see the 97.9X Staff in shorts. The horror...the horror...

Crisco's Rock Manual: Chapter 1 - Devil Horns

During my time as a DJ for 97.9X, I have come to notice that many so-called rock fans are not privy to how things actually work in the world of rock. Therefore, I have gone out of my way to construct this multiple-installment series for you to reference whenever you are unsure of something rock-related.

Today, we shall begin with what I think is one of the most confused aspects of rock: The Corna, or Devil Horns.



In the picture, the Devil Horns are correctly executed. Notice that only the index and pinky finger are extended. The middle and ring finger are tucked in and covered by the thumb. This is the CORRECT way to brandish the Devil Horns. Learn it.

By throwing up the Horns, you are telling the world, in a very simple way, that you are rocking and/or being rocked. When you use the Horns, you are implying that something seriously awesome is occurring within your vicinity, such to the point that you can't help but pack all of your anger, hate, and aggression into one hand gesture!

Times when it is APPROPRIATE to use the Horns include but are not limited to:

• Rock shows/concerts
• Sporting Events
• Roller Coasters
• Family Portraits

Times when it is INAPPROPRIATE to use the Horns include but are not limited to:

• The Mall
• Within a 1.37-mile radius of Coldplay and/or their music
• When you are a President responsible for screwing up the United States (Google: George Bush horns)
• In the background of a TODAY Show broadcast.

Now that I have covered what the Devil Horns ARE, I will proceed to discuss what they are NOT.

These are NOT the Devil Horns. Get it right. This is the symbol for "Love", which has absolutely nothing to do with getting thrashed. Rock is about pain, suffering, violence, and domination. That is why rockers have done their best to legitimize fist-fighting by calling it "moshing", but that is another Chapter. The point is that we do not "love" at rock concerts, we beat the crap out of ourselves and each other.

Tuck your thumb IN or be heralded as a poser. You have been warned.


Let's get one thing straight right now, this is not Maui! You are not catching a wave! Put the "hang ten" symbol away! And while you are at it, get your ass out of my rock show! You obviously took a wrong turn, got lost, and are now confused as to where you are.

I call on all true rockers to be on watch for patrons whose use this gesture at your shows. Should you see someone make this hand symbol, do them a favor and start a mosh pit on the back of their head.


Well, that just about covers Chapter 1. This knowledge is priceless, people. Please, put it to good use.

Until next time...KEEP ROCKIN'!

New Rock from Tantric!

Yes, you read that correctly. I was filling in for Dan the Man tonight when I happened to notice that Tantric (whom you might recall shares a decent relationship with 97.9X...Top Secret Show #12 anyone?) had posted a Bulletin on MySpace:

Get ready folks! More new music to come your way from Tantric. We head back into the studio march 2nd to begin work on our second upcoming release with the all new lineup again. We will be recording in all of march and april. The end begins was just the beginning of the all new Tantric and we can't wait to share it all with you once again. Spread the word army! We won't make you wait too long. We promise. We will be talking and keeping you all informed here on my space as OFTEN as we can with what's up and how the recording process is coming along.
GO ARMY!


Tantric

This is definitely something to be excited about! You heard it FIRST with 97.9X!