Tuesday, May 29, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 5/29/31

New Album Releases
12 Stones - Beneath the Scars*
The Mars Volta - Noctourniquet

New Home Movie Releases
Man on a Ledge
Gone

True Blood - Season 4


*Now Available Everywhere

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Drop Anchor

I swear on heavy metal, if this movie turns out to be not good it will not spell good news for Adam McKay. And for the record, I may lash out at our former 97.9X DJ, McKay, just for sharing the same name.

At any rate, here is the teaser for Anchorman 2 that is airing in the previews before The Dictator.

The teaser is hilarious. This movie better live up to it.

Enjoy!


New Release Tuesday - 5/22/12

New Album Releases
Slash (featuring Myles Kennedy and The Conspiritors) - Apocalyptic Love
12 Stones - Beneath the Scars
Garbage - Not Your Kind of People
Kill Devil Hill - Kill Devil Hill
Paul McCartney - RAM

New Home Movie Releases
Red Tails
This Means War
The Woman in Black
The Secret World of Arrietty

Sherlock - Season 2
The River - Season 1

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 5/15/12

New Album Releases
Santana - Shape Shifter
Tenacious D - Rize of the Fenix
Godsmack - Live & Inspired (Live recordings and studio covers)
Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power (20th Anniversary Deluxe Edition [feat. the lost track "Piss"])
Shadows Fall - Fire From the Sky
Cherri Bomb - This is the End of Control

New Home Movie Releases
The Grey
Chronicle
The Devil Inside

Hell on Wheels - Season 1

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 5/8/12

New Album Releases
Dee Snider - Dee Does Broadway

New Home Movie Releases
Underworld: Awakening
The Vow

WWE: Wrestlemania XXVIII

Chuck - Season 5

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 5/1/12

New Album Releases
Marilyn Manson - Born Villain
Hurt - The Crux
Pennywise - All or Nothing
Avengers Assemble - Motion Picture Soundtrack (featuring Soundgarden, Shinedown, Rise Against, Papa Roach, Black Veil Brides, Scott Weiland, Redlight King, Bush, Evanescence, Buckcherry, Five Finger Death Punch, and more)

New Home Video Releases
Haywire
New Year's Eve

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 4/24/12

New Album Releases
Jack White - Blunderbuss
Anathema - Weather Systems

New Home Movie Releases
Titanic - 2012 (TV Movie)

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 4/17/12

New CD Releases
Dragonforce - The Power Within
Evans Blue - Graveyard of Empires
Thousand Foot Krutch - The End Is Where We Begin

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol

Frozen Planet - The Complete Series
American Dad! - Volume 7

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Parking


You may often hear me expressing my excitement for Linkin Park's next album which, according to various quotes from the band, will be "much more familiar" than the artsy endeavor that was their last album, A Thousand Suns.

Consider my excitement "amped" a bit following the release of this new viral trailer Linkin Park has released to promote the new record.

Check it out...



It's barely anything, but in that it's also everything to get excited for.

I'm looking forward to seeing if the band really does return to the sound we've grown to love them for.

We will likely find out on April 16th, when the band plans on releasing "Burn It Down", the first single off the new album. I just hope we end up playing it.

As always, keep it here for updates on this and other New Rock announcements.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 4/10/12

New CD Releases
Halestorm - The Strange Case Of...
Taproot - The Episodes
Job For a Cowboy - Demonocracy
Cavo - Thick As Thieves

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
The Darkest Hour

Doctor Who: The Daemons - 3rd Doctor Story
One Tree Hill - Season 9

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 04/03/12

New CD Releases
Candlebox - Love Stories and Other Musings

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
War Horse
We Bought a Zoo

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A Sound from the Garden

Chris Cornell and Soundgarden have made a damn art form out of leaving us hanging with regard to information on their new album. All we know is "the spring". That's it.

Still no release date...still no title.

But today we were treated to a glimpse (a horridly small glimpse mind you) to a new single from Soundgarden's new album. However, this is monumental because it is the first new material we've heard from Soundgarden in FIFTEEN YEARS!

The new single "Rise to Live" will be featured on the soundtrack to The Avengers, which will be on iTunes on May 1st.

Here, now, is the mammoth 22-second preview of the brand new Soundgarden...

Enjoy!

New Release Tuesday - 03/27/12

New CD Releases
Iron Maiden - En Vivo! (live album)
My Darkest Days - Sick & Twisted Affair
The Used - Vulnerable
God Forbid - Equilibrium
Alter Bridge - Live at Wembley (live album)
3 Inches of Blood - Long Live Heavy Metal
The Mars Volta - Noctourniquet
Ministry - Relapse
The Veer Union - Divide the Blackened Sky
Shinedown - Amaryllis

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Volume XXIII
Eureka - Season 4.5
South Park - Season 15

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 3/20/12

New CD Releases
The Shins - Port of Morrow

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
The Muppets
The Sitter
Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

That '70s Show - Season 1

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Franken-Face

Recently, Australian magazine Marie Claire released an article detailing what the perfect woman would look like according to leading plastic surgeons.

The conglomeration of attributes features Anne Hathaway's eyes, Natalie Portman's nose, Scarlett Johansson's lips, Halle Berry's jawline, January Jones's cheekbones, and Taylor Swift's hair.

The result is the frankenwoman below:


Now, I wouldn't say she's bad looking. But perfect? I don't know.

To me she seems a bit...photoshopped.

*Cue rimshot*

Yuk yuk yuk. F*** you, Marie Clair.

New Release Tuesday - 3/13/12

New CD Releases
Cannibal Corpse - Torture
Soulfly - Enslaved
Say Anything - Anarchy My Dear
Dropkick Murphys - Going Out in Style
Adrenaline Mob - Omerta

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
Happy Feet Two
The Descendants
My Week with Marilyn
The Adventures of Tin Tin
The Three Musketeers

The Killing - Season 1

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 3/6/12

New CD Releases
Bruce Springsteen - Wrecking Ball
Every Time I Die - Ex Lives
Kaiser Chiefs - Start the Revolution Without Me

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
Footloose
Immortals
Jack and Jill

Game of Thrones - Season 1
Hawthorne - The Final Season

Monday, March 5, 2012

The Car Monster Wants Your Benjamins!


Taking your car to the shop is a pain in the ass. It always costs an arm, leg, and testicle, takes an inordinate amount of time, and you just end up having to take it back a few months later for something else.

Granted, in my case, a lot of the work I can (and at times DO) do myself. But if there's one thing you should know about me by now, it's this: I'm lazy. I'd rather pay and watch someone else do it.

But that said, there are a lot of things you may think you know about basic vehicle maintenance that are just plain bullsh*t. Furthermore, these supposed "facts" about keeping your car up-and-running are likely costing you hefty sums of money every year.

So, in an effort to clear up these misconceptions, I bring you 6 Car Myths (pulled from Cracked.com)

1) Change Your Oil Every 3,000 Miles
Believe it or not, we have a thing today called "science". What science does is help us to improve upon what we have and make it better. Back in the day, engine oil sucked. Since then, oil technology has advanced to the point where you can easily get away with 7,500 miles without changing your oil. Some synthetic oils even last up to 15,000 miles! Are you kidding me?! F*** this! I'm never changing my oil again!

2) Warm Up Your Engine Before You Drive
Letting your car sit in your driveway and idle is putting the same wear and tear on it as whenever it's running. It's really just a waste of time. Plus, and idling engine takes even LONGER to warm up. Back before fuel-injection this might have made sense, but not now. As long as you aren't breaking the sound barrier right out of the gate, getting right in and going in the winter/cold weather is the best thing for your car and your patience.

3) Fuel Additives Are Good for Your Engine
Screw You. This might make sense if gasoline manufacturers weren't already required by law to add detergents and additives before the gas ever gets to your car. And if your excuse for using additives is so that your gas lines "don't freeze", gas is safe from freezing in temperatures all the way down to -40°F. Try pulling your head out of the pool of snot it's resting in the next time you're in Chemistry class.

4) Get Regular Engine Tune-Ups
Were this the "olden days" before we had on-board computers that regularly tweak and adjust our engine timing on a microsecond-by-microsecond basis, this might be a good idea. Now, it's only smart to get the ol' "once over" every 50,000 miles or so to clean the dead squirrels out of you engine block.

5) Winterize Your Car
If you live in the Arctic Circle, sure. But as long as you live somewhere where plant life can survive, you're good. Your fluids are already rated to not freeze. Just throw on some snow tires and get out there, champ!

6) High-Octane Gasoline is Better for Your Engine
No. The only vehicles that need anything above 87-grade are those with high-compression engines. Hate to break it to you, but your '98 Civic with the "fancy spoiler" isn't one of them. Get a clue.


You might have noticed my patience ran thin toward the end there. That's because I'm actually guilty of thinking each one of these was true during at least one point in my life. Don't be a moron like me. Take these myths and shove them up your mechanic's colon the next time you see him. Just be sure to buy him dinner afterward.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 2/28/12

New CD Releases
Pink Floyd - The Wall (Remastered)
Cranberries - Roses

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
Hugo
Johnny English Reborn

I Challenge You!


You may have heard me mention a great many times on my show that I feel we need to man-up as a country. What better way than to bring back dueling? Maybe not actually gun fights, but we should at least be allowed to call an impromptu sparring match.

See, I'm a firm believer in free speech. You should be allowed to say whatever you want, whenever you want. However, you should also be regulated by the knowledge that if you say the wrong thing to the wrong person, there is a chance you'll get your ass kicked.

Now THAT'S freedom!

It seems unlikely, though, especially considering how wussified our society has become. Even if we were allowed to engage each other in combat to settle our scores, we would NEVER be as manly or awesome as the men in the following stories.

I give you THE 5 MOST INSANE DUELS EVER! (Stolen from Cracked.com)

5) The Hot Air Balloon Duel - You read that correctly. Back in 1808, two dudes in France got super pissed at each other to the point where they had no choice but to start shooting. But then, they decided to raise the stakes by raising themselves into the air in hot air balloons! The first guy to shoot completely missed his target (including the gargantuan balloon) even with the use of a SHOTGUN because he sucked at everything. The second man, however, blasted a hole through his opponents balloon and, well, death rained down from the sky.

4) The Billiard Duel - Pretty straight-forward: Two guys (again, in France) were playing a simple game of pool when they were suddenly overtaken by the urge to kill. Rather than pistols, though, they opted to throw BILLIARD BALLS at each other until one of them was dead! The man that was the first to throw boldly proclaimed, "I am going to kill you on the first throw." Then, being a real man and true to his word, hit the other guy square in the forehead, killing him instantly.

3) The Naked Gun - Two guys are about to duel (in England this time) when one of them strips naked. He was actually doing this with the knowledge that bullet wounds weren't the main cause of death in duels, but rather infection as a result of the musket balls pushing dirty clothing deep into the wounds. Still, his move to duel in his birthday suit was enough of a psych-out to cause the other guy to back down (I'm assuming because the sight of the naked guy's undoubtedly large package made him feel inadequate, but that's just my theory).

2) The Cab Duel - Two military officers (yet again in France) had a swordfight, probably over an argument about who could slay more ladies. One of the combatants, Barbier-Dufai, easily disarmed his opponent four times in a row. Since he was a real man, he didn't want to best this pansy with such a huge advantage. That said, the two men then jumped into the back of a horse-drawn carriage (into a space roughly the size of an airplane bathroom), tied their left arms together, and started stabbing the sh*t out of each other with knives! Barbier-Dufai was a champion of manliness, though, and so he still won even on a level playing field.

1) The 19-Year Duel - Probably one of the most legendary stories of badassary is the nearly two-decade-long duel between French (seriously, what the hell is with France's deep passion for fighting to the death? Are they all suicidal?) douchebag Francois Fournier-Sarloveze, and man-king Captain Pierre Dupont. These two hated each other on the level of Peter Griffen and the Chicken. Dupont refused to use guns because Fournier was a better marksman, and so they used swords instead. The duel then went back and forth over multiple encounters that spanned the course of NINETEEN F***ING YEARS! Finally, Dupont decided he wanted to get married and had had enough of this bullsh*t game of cat and mouse with Fournier, and so they met a final time with guns as their weapons. Following one last, decisive battle in which Dupont tricked Fournier into emptying his ammunition on a decoy, Dupont leveled his gun at a cowering Fournier but let him go on the grounds that he never pretend to be anything but a bitch again. Dupont may not have taken Fournier's life, but he took something far more precious...his man card. They parted ways and Fournier, not wanting to continue to live as a non-man, did the honorable thing and killed himself. *That last part may or may not have been made up by me.


Three things...

One: If you think any part of this blog isn't awesome, you are not a man and deserve to be roundhouse-kicked in the nut-less patch between your legs.

Two: We DEFINITELY need to bring back dueling! Some people just deserve to have their asses handed to them, and no one should have to go to jail for doing society that service.

Three: If you're in the habit of fooling yourself into thinking you're a real man, don't ever go to France. Those people over there will duel you right in the mouth, and your trashy, Jersey Shore-esque attitude isn't going to keep Phillipe from sticking his glaive in your neck.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 2/21/12

New CD Releases

New DVD/Blu-Ray Releases
Tower Heist
J Edgar

Weeds - Season 7

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

But Then I Got Mile High


Fresh out of Valentine's Day, you might be in the mood for some serious love. Well, thanks to the Good Lord above, an innovative company may have a ticket to helping you achieve one of your biggest (and seemingly most unattainable) fantasies.

My friends, prepare to join the Mile High Club.

For those unaware, you gain membership into Mile High Club by "wet-humping" someone while in-flight. It is viewed as mostly the stuff of legend considering the intense security protocols these days, but thanks to a company in Cincinnati, Ohio known as Flamingo Air, your dream may now become a reality.

The ENTIRE purpose of this company (which, funny enough, has actually been around for a long time on the "down-low") is to get you laid in the sky. For only $425, Flamingo Air will set you up with a one-hour private flight so you can get it on! Quarters are cramped, but that's the very essence of the Mile High Club anyway.

I could go on, but you probably have some calls to make. Godspeed, friends.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 2/14/12

New CD Releases
Dio - Holy Diver (Remastered)

New DVD/BluRay Releases
The Rum Diary
The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence

Hawaii Five-0 - Season 1
Beavis and Butt-Head - Volume 4
Storage Wars - Volume 2

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Amazing

Columbia Pictures has released the theatrical trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man, set to hit theaters on July 3rd, 2012.

It looks like it could be good...or at least better than the last one.

Check out the trailer below...

New Release Tuesday - 2/07/12

New CD Releases
Van Halen - A Different Kind of Truth

Patrice O'Neal - Mr. P

New DVD/BluRay Releases
A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
Anonymous

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Shining Down


That right there is the album cover for Shinedown's upcoming new album, Amaryllis, which is due out on March 27, 2012.

Shinedown was kind enough to release this image of the cover, as well as a preview of some of the tracks which you can listen to either by interacting with the image above, or by clicking here. And all of this just a day after they announced that they will be headlining the 2012 Avalanche Tour, which is making a stop at the Scranton Cultural Center on April 22, 2012. Tickets for the Avalanche show go on sale this Saturday (2/4/12) at 10am.

It's looking like 2012 is quickly turning into the Year of Shinedown. A good year, indeed.

As always, keep it here for updates on this and other New Rock announcements.

New Release Tuesday - 1/31/12

New CD Releases
Metallica - Beyond Magnetic [EP]
Bleeding Through - The Great Fire
Underworld: Awakening - Motion Picture Soundtrack (featuring Linkin Park, Evanescence, The Cure, Black Light Burns, Lacuna Coil, and more)

New DVD/BluRay Releases
The Thing
In Time
Dream House
Drive

Friday, January 27, 2012

Golden Nuggets


17-year-old Stacey Irvine of England proves that eating nothing but chicken nuggets, fries, and the occasional potato chips for 15 years straight won't always turn you into a morbidly obese troll.

It will, however, give you anemia and swollen blood vessels in your tongue (and I'm sure cataracts, heart disease, and "bathroom issues" later in life).

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Love Hurts


See that guy? That's Kevin-Prince Boateng, a soccer star from Milan, Italy. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, in his case) he is injured. You probably don't care. BUT...you might be intrigued as to how he was injured...

This dude is hurt because, according to his 25-year-old actress/supermodel girlfriend, they "get down to business" 7-10 times per week. This has resulted in a muscle strain in the form of a lesion on his left thigh.

Hardcore (In more ways than one)

And because I know you're probably curious, here are some pictures of the girlfriend-in-question, Melissa Satta:













So the ultimate question is: WAS...IT...WORTH IT?

(Hint: Sure)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Something to Get Off On


Good news for Halestorm fans that have been waiting anxiously for the band's next record:

The wait is over (almost)!

In a recent interview, Lzzy Hale has finally revealed the track listing, album title, and release date for Halestorm's sophomore album. The album will be called The Strange Case Of..., and it will hit stores on April 10, 2012.

I know...it still seems to be a long way off. While you wait for the new record to drop, you can sate yourself with four BRAND NEW songs that the band has released digitally as a new EP called Hello, It's Mz. Hyde.

There are links available on their website and everywhere else.

In the meantime, I look forward to that new album. Keep you ears open for a new single on the radio.

As always, keep it here for updates on this and other New Rock announcements.

New Release Tuesday - 1/24/12

New CD Releases
The Scorpions - Comeback
Lacuna Coil - Dark Adrenaline
Lamb of God - Resolution

New DVD/BluRay Releases
Real Steel
Paranormal Activity 3
50/50

Buck Rodgers in the 25th Century - Season 1

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 1/17/12

New CD Releases
Attack! Attack! - This Means War

New DVD/BluRay Releases
The Ides of March
Abduction
Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star

Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain

Merlin - Season 3
Sliders - Season 5 (Final Season)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 1/10/12

New CD Releases
Nightwish - Imaginaerum
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol - Music from the Motion Picture

New DVD/BluRay Releases
Killer Elite
Moneyball

Hawaii Five-O - The 12th and Final Season

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Good...Let the Hate Flow!


Donald Trump (portrayed in the blog title as the Emperor) has announced the lineup for the new season of Celebrity Apprentice, which will feature 18 competitors.

The lineup includes:
Arsenio Hall
Adam Carolla
Lou Ferrigno
Penn Jillette
Dee Snider
George Takei
Michael Andretti
Paul Teutul, Sr.
Lisa Lampanelli

There are others, but I either haven't heard of them or don't care. Granted, none of these are Gary Busey, but it should still be a good season. I may actually have to tune in.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Release Tuesday - 1/3/12

New CD Releases

New DVD/BluRay Releases
Contagion
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
Shark Night 3D

Justified - Season 2