Friday, October 28, 2011

Great...More Lines


As if the wait in the Emergency Room isn't long enough already (I'm dragging my leg behind me...it's good to see I had to wait while you got checked for the "sniffles"), the world population is set to hit 7 BILLION at some point in the next few weeks.

Can we please end this whole "pregnancy trend"?

Anyway, have you ever been curious as to where you fall into this mangled mess of humanity?

Well, the BBC has a new site to help you figure it out!

Just follow this link and type in your birth date, and it will calculate to a close approximation of where you stand.

The saddest part is that out of 7 BILLION human beings, it seems sometimes that I'm the only one that knows how to drive.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Frisky Business

The TSA is in the news (again) for being a bunch of filthy, dirty perverts (again).

When an anonymous woman packed her vibrator for a trip (must have been a long trip...ba-dum-bum!), her bag was investigated by TSA agents. As per protocol, they left her a form which alerted her to the fact that her luggage was opened and searched. This particular form, though, had an extra note to go with it.


Way to keep it classy, TSA.

So the question I'm asking is, what other items could we pack that might get a rise out of the TSA? I'm going on vacation outside the country in a few weeks, and I'd love to pack something that would inspire a note. Hell, if you can think of something to freaks these sons of bitches out (without breaking any laws), I'm down!

Comment with your ideas...

New Release Tuesday - 10/25/11

New CD Releases

New DVD/BluRay Releases
Captain America: The First Avenger
Pearl Jam Twenty

Robot Chicken - Season 5
Dennis the Menace - Season 3
Survivor: Thailand - Season 5

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Calm the F*** Down


Scientists in England have supposedly created the most relaxing song ever.

Seeing as how I am a densely packed singularity of super-heated rage, this caught my attention as well as my skepticism.

According to an article posted by the Daily Mail, a team of scientists in collaboration with sleep therapists and a new age band called Marconi Union have created what they believe (according to their science, anyway) to be the world's most relaxing song.

It's an eight-minute song called "Weightless". Allegedly, it's so relaxing that they advise against listening to it in the car for fear that you might fall asleep at the wheel. Their studies have found that the song relaxed people even MORE than a massage, with 65% of individuals tested as being less anxious after listening.

Most of the music I listen to makes me want to drive fast and light things on fire, and so this was different for me. However, I can attest that I did feel pretty calm afterward.

The whole article can be found here. There is also a link in the article that will let you hear the full song.

Take a listen to it and then let me know what you think.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

New Release Tuesday - 10/18/11

New Music Releases
Jane's Addiction - The Great Escape Artist
Everlast - Songs of the Ungrateful Living
Iced Earth - Dystopia
Cradle of Filth - Evermore Darkly

New DVD/BluRay Releases
Bad Teacher
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Super 8

Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Season 3
V - Season 2
Pawn Stars - Season 3

Monday, October 17, 2011

Wanna Go Fast?


It's an age old question: How far over the speed limit can you go before you'll be pulled over.

Hypothetically speaking you should never break the posted speed limit. That's why it's called a "limit". But let's assume, for just a second, that we all do speed from time to time (a difficult stretch of the imagination, I know).

Call it myth, call it hogwash, whatever...but we've all heard of the fabled "Buffer Zone". It's that magical place where you can break the speed limit, even within sight of law enforcement, and you won't be pulled over.

I've always personally believed that if you stay within 5mph over the posted speed limit, you're still in the clear. My reasons for this areas follows: First, at only 5mph over the speed limit, even if you are pulled over, it's a minor infraction and no points on your licence. Second, I've actually driven through speed traps doing five-over and not been chased down.

If the "Buffer Zone" does exist, though, there is some disagreement as to where it falls...

In a new survey by Pemco Insurance,
50% of people say the "BZ" lies withing four-over or less.
43% say it lies within 5-9mph over the speed limit.
5% think you're safe even going 10-14mph over (I call bullsh*t on this one, since I've been snagged for 11-over in the past).
1% actually think cops only target MASSIVE speeders, so even 15-19mph over the limit is safe (Also bullsh*t, since I'd consider a 4-point infraction to be pretty damn extreme).

Is there really an area of leeway in which a police officer is willing to allow speeding? What are the circumstances?

The real question: What do YOU think? Comment and let me know!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Guerrilla Cellular


Look familiar? That's because, at some point you've been the target of someone taking a picture or video of something stupid you've done or are doing.

We've all been there. Me? I'm there often. I do a lot of stupid crap.

According to a recent Harris pool in the Baltimore Sun, a total 50% of Americans admit to having taken a secret video of someone or something for various reasons.

- 23% have taken a pic of someone in a stupid or embarrassing outfit
- 20% have photographed an athlete at a sporting event
- 15% have gotten someone tripping and/or falling
(now we get kind of weird and/or creepy)
- 10% have taken a picture of a sexy waitress/hostess/bartender
- 9% have taken a photo of s shirtless guy mowing the lawn
- 7% have taken pic or videos of cheerleaders (these are the people with signs in their yards)
- 7% have photographed their boss or coworker eating (what?)
- 6% have photographed someone's disgusting grooming habits
- 5% have taken a picture of a couple making out

The survey also found that we most enjoy seeing pics or vids of someone pulling a prank on a coworker.

We are a weird people. It's almost like we all have paparazzi now that are just waiting for us to goof something up so they can record it and post it somewhere online.

That said, I'd like to introduce a new feature on my show: Guerrilla Cellular! Basically, if you have a picture or video of something weird, stupid, gross, or embarrassing, email it to me at crisco@979x.com and I'll feature my favorite opportune picture or video here on the blog and on the show each week.

Go crazy! I can't wait to see what you guys come up with...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

New Release Tuesday - 10/11/11

New Music Releases
Judas Priest - The Chosen Few (Greatest Hits chosen by iconic Heavy Metal musicians including Ozzy Osbourne, Slash, James Hetfield, Kerry King, and more)
William Shatner - Seeking Major Tom
Evanescence - Evanescence
Various Artists - ZZ Top: A Tribute from Friends (ZZ Top covers performed by Wolfmother, Nickelback, Filter, Duff McKagan's Loaded, Daughtry, Coheed & Cambria, Mastodon, and more)
Radiohead - Tkol RMX 1234567
Five Finger Death Punch - American Capitalist 

New DVD/BluRay Releases
Green Lantern
Horrible Bosses
Zookeeper

Bones - Season 6
Chuck - Season 4
Workaholics - Season 1

Monday, October 10, 2011

Straighten that Drink, Soldier!


Are you one of those individuals that can really read people? I'm betting you aren't. Call it an educated guess.

No worries, friend...I'm here to help

Turns out, according to DR. Glenn Wilson, a psychologist at King's College (don't get excited...I'm referring to the King's College in London), "The simple act of holding a drink displays a lot more about us than we realize..."

Alright, I'll bite.

The following is a list comprised of the most common booze-handling techniques and what it means about your personality:

Chicks
1) The Flirt - A woman who holds her glass in a provocative way, with her fingers splayed. She might hold her drink over her chest, to draw attention to her cleavage, or peer over the rim to check you out she's taking a sip.

2) The Gossip - A woman who holds a wine glass by the bowl, and uses it as a prop to gesticulate and make points. She tends to cluster in a group with other women, and she's critical. She'll also lean in over her drink to be more confidential.

3) The Ice Queen -  A woman who drinks from a wine glass or a short cocktail, and holds it firmly as a barrier across her body. She's cold, defensive, doesn't want to be approached, and she'll put you down if you do.

4) The Fun Lover - Someone who likes to drink beer from the bottle, hold it loosely by their shoulder, and take short swigs so they don't miss out on anything in the conversation. She's lively, friendly, loves to have an overall good time, and enjoys meeting new people.

5) The Wallflower - She holds her drink protectively and doesn't let go, like she's afraid somebody will take it. Her palms are hidden, and the drink's never finished. She'll fiddle with the straw (if there is one) or the label. Obviously it means she's shy, submissive, and using the drink as a social crutch.


Dudes
1) The Player - A guy with a tall glass, cocktail, or a bottle who uses it as a phallic prop, and plays with it suggestively. He's self-confident, possessive, and can get a little 'handsy' with the women around him . . . and get away with it.

2)  The Peacock - The player who's actually more into himself. He spreads himself over as much space as possible, like pushing the glass away and leaning back in his chair. He's over-confident, arrogant, and would rather just drink with his friends.

3) The Browbeater - A verbally hostile know-it-all who prefers large pint glasses or bottles, grasps them firmly, gesticulates in a threatening in-your-face way, and is always making fun of other people. If you can't handle it, don't bother.


That's the end of the list.

I'm a little pissed off that not one "decent" classification of guy is noted, but I guess that's just the culture we live in, isn't it? All of us bros are a**holes.

Regardless, hopefully you find this list informative. Maybe now, when you next go out to a bar, you'll have a better clue of who you want to talk to instead of walking into a stomping.

But the real question is: Where do you fall on the list?

Friday, October 7, 2011

Death Pumpkin


Let's get one thing straight right off the bat...THIS. IS. COOL!

It seems like Halloween becomes a bigger and bigger deal as each year goes by. Parties get more intense, costumes get sluttier, and sh*t gets way more expensive.

Why not escalate your pumpkin carving to coincide with the rising tide of Halloween insanity?

Introducing http://www.fantasypumpkins.com/. Your mind will melt when you see some of the different designs on this website. The Death Star Pumpkin has a step-by-step tutorial that will show you exactly how to make your very own, but this is only scratching the surface. There are HUNDREDS of patterns posted for you to attempt to duplicate that range from Angry Birds to Avatar to Alica in Wonderland.

So if you're one of those people that goes bat-crap crazy for Halloween, it stands to reason that you would also want to be the biggest pumpkin-carving badass on your street!

It should go without saying that I expect you to make me a delicious pie from all the leftovers.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Want to Live Dangerously? Live Somewhere Else


Looks like such a nice, tame city from this view, doesn't it? In reality, this is Detroit...the most dangerous city in America.

You're shocked, I know.

Recently, Forbes magazine released a list of America's most dangerous cities. The findings are based on FBI statistics for four types of violent crime.

*Drumroll* And here is the list:
1) Detroit (metropolitan area), Michigan - 1,111 violent crimes per 100,000 people
2) Memphis, Tennessee - 1,006 violent crimes per 100,000 people
3) Springfield, Illinois - 855 violent crimes per 100,000 people
4) Flint, Michigan - 827 violent crimes per 100,000 people
5) Anchorage, Alaska - 813 violent crimes per 100,000 people
6) Lubbock, Texas - 808 violent crimes per 100,000 people
7) Stockton, California - 805 violent crimes per 100,000 people
8) Tallahassee, Florida - 775 violent crimes per 100,000 people
9) Las Vegas, Nevada - 763 violent crimes per 100,000 people
10) Rockford, Illinois - 760 violent crimes per 100,000 people

Surprising to me was Anchorage, Alaska coming in at #5. Who saw that coming? I'm sure Sarah Palin can be blamed in some capacity or another.

Meanwhile, Wilkes-Barre/Scranton is nowhere to be found on the list. For that, I am grateful...

...and also slightly annoyed. I don't take well to losing. I think we can make Top 10 for next year if we try our asses off.

Let's do this.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

New Release Tuesday - 10/4/11

New Music Releases
Mutemath - Odd Soul
New Found Glory - Radiosurgery
Real Steel - Motion Picture Soundtrack (featuring the Beastie Boys, Foo Fighters, Limp Bizkit, Tom Morello, and more)

New DVD/BluRay Releases
Scream 4
Fast Five

Lie to Me - Season 3
According to Jim - Season 5