Saturday, March 21, 2009

Crisco's Rock Manual: Chapter 2 - Knowing Your Radio Station

Welcome back. I hope that you found the previous installment useful. Today we move on to Chapter 2, which delves into what you should know about your radio station.

First of all, GOOD Rock Radio stations are few and far between. With this knowledge, it would be wise for a true rocker to not screw up simple, elementary facts regarding the very station that plays music that you claim is your favorite type. These truths are especially relevant to any person who has made the claim that they listen to a station "all the time." Before you blurt this out in the future, make sure you have your s**t together so you can avoid rambling onward into incoherency.

Now, for the sake of this blog, I will hereby be using our very own 97.9X as the primary example for establishing my point. Keep in mind, though, that the following applies to any rock radio station.

1) Know the NAME of your Rock Radio station

Too often, I hear listeners refer to our radio station as being named "97.9X Rocks."


Take a close look at the station logo at the top of the blog. THAT is our station's name. It is pronounced "Ninety-Seven Nine X". Period. Nothing more, nothing less.

Another thing you should figure out is how to disassociate the station's name from the station's slogan."97.9X Rocks" is our station's slogan. It implies that the radio station (97.9X) takes part in the act of rocking. We do rock at 97.9X, so it is safe to say that 97.9X rocks.

Name = "97.9X"
Slogan = "97.9X Rocks!"

Let me reiterate... the name of our station is NOT "97.9X Rocks". The name of our station IS "97.9X".

The following are a breakdown of correct and incorrect grammar using the station's name:

"I won tickets from 97.9X!" - GOOD
"I won tickets today! 97.9X Rocks!" - GOOD
"I won tickets from 97.9X Rocks!" - BAD

"Crisco is a weekend DJ on 97.9X." - GOOD
"97.9X Rocks on the weekend with Crisco." - GOOD
"Crisco is a weekend DJ on 97.9X Rocks." - BAD

"Today, we saw a Top Secret Show in the 97.9X Rock Lounge." - GOOD
"Today, we saw a Top Secret Show in the Rock Lounge. 97.9X Rocks!" - GOOD
"Today, we saw a Top Secret Show in the 97.9X Rocks Rock Lounge." - BAD

"97.9X Rocks!" - GOOD
"97.9X Rocks Rocks!" - JUST PLAIN STUPID

It should also be noted that WBSX is the call-sign for 97.9X. While it is acceptable to refer to our radio station as WBSX, you may come off sounding like an uptight tool.

2) Know the Music of your Rock Radio station

We are a Rock Station. We play Rock Music. Repeat that a few times in your head.

DO NOT call your Rock Station and request garbage like Pink, Rihanna, Usher, T.I., or Miley Cyrus. We will not play it and you will be ridiculed as being a loser, not to mention a moron.

I really am confused as to how this happens. Is it because you dial the wrong number? Seriously, how can you call yourself a true listener if you don't even know what your station's phone number is? You really should try to discover fire before you attempt to fiddle with telephone communication, you simpleton.

3) Know your Rock DJs

While struggling to maintain consciousness, put forth an effort to listen for the name of the DJ on-the-air.

Calling a DJ by another name or not knowing who he/she is at all can really hurt our feelings. We are people too, you know.

4) Involve yourself

Attend station events, take part in station activities, and show your support. Don't just sit there with your mouth open like a mutilated cow and expect us to go out of our way to accommodate you with periodic doses of kickassedness. It doesn't work that way.

In actuality, we are here for you. Just don't be a douche about it. Show some love.

Be awesome for your station, and they will be awesome for you.

That is all for now. I'll probably add more as I remember to.

Until next time...KEEP ROCKIN'!

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